confused

confused of myself right now...at this moment ,I still thinking either to have medic in malaysia or russian..for honest,I prefer medic in Malaysia but I afraid of the pointer,,I never imagine to go abroad especially Russian..that is so out of my thinking..not even once.done with istikharah but I dont know why my heart strongly to say Malaysia..being an adult never as easy as I think...all decision on your own..it much fun to be 7 years old girl..oh by the way,I am turn 18 today..a year older suppose to be more wiser in choosing your own decision..but it seem the others way..TAYLOR perhaps the best for me.